The Difference Between an Average Wedding Speech and an Unforgettable One
Five Key Lessons to Make Yours Stand Out
Just when you think you’ve heard it all, one more person stands up. You want to be encouraging, but you’ve already listened to so many speeches today. You heard from the perspective of the parents, the funny stories told by their brothers, the beautiful words of their sisters and their friends. All equally lovely stories reminiscing about how the couple met, their quirks and the qualities that make them such a great couple. What could this last person possibly add that hasn’t already been said? And would it hold your attention long enough before the dancing begins?
That last person standing up? That was me at my high school friend’s wedding in the Netherlands last year. A tough slot, right before dessert when everyone is eagerly waiting to get on the dance floor. At that same dance floor multiple people came up to me to compliment me on my speech. It wasn’t just friends being kind, strangers came up to tell me how much they enjoyed it.
What made my speech stand out, I wondered. I had told stories of our childhood, of how my friend had met her beautiful life partner and I had wished them well on this new life-long adventure together. Not much different from what others had done earlier in the day. So what made it so memorable for people?
For the purpose of this newsletter, I analysed my own speech and several wedding speeches online to find out what elements make the difference between an average speech and an unforgettable one.
These are my five key take-aways on how to draft and deliver a killer wedding speech:
Introduction
In the opening of your speech, make sure that you introduce yourself to provide context for your audience. You can make your introduction more engaging by linking it to a short story, for example referencing the first moment you met the bride and/or groom.
Especially in the first minute of your speech, using a bit of humour or a relatable anecdote about the newlyweds will create a connection with your audience. This will keep them engaged throughout your speech and they’ll want to hear more of what you’re telling them.
You can choose to focus on the bride and groom throughout, however, I prefer addressing the audience and keeping personal remarks for the end.
Personal stories
Storytelling is a great way to keep people engaged. Take some time in your preparation to think back to some good stories that you can share: memories of funny moments, memorable interactions that you had and key moments in your lives. The best stories offer a glimpse into the couple’s lives, but also include a bit of humour.
Remember to keep it light-hearted, a wedding speech is not a roast, and avoid inside jokes that the majority of your audience won’t understand or stories that might be embarrassing or inappropriate. The goal of your speech is to create a memorable moment for everyone present, especially the bride and groom.
Authenticity
This is a really important one to make your speech stand out. Speak from the heart and don't be afraid to show your emotions. Authenticity resonates with your audience and will make your speech more impactful. Deliberate pauses in your speech can be powerful. Practise with this at home before the wedding day.
You want your speech to be sincere and honest, don’t shy away from addressing a difficult time in the couple’s lives. I chose to do so (after having checked with the bride’s close family if it was ok) and it was a very powerful moment in the speech. Make it a short reflective moment and don’t let it overshadow your speech. The majority of your speech should be positive and celebratory.
Practise and prepare
Rehearse your speech multiple times to build confidence and to make sure the delivery goes smoothly. You may find you’ll stumble over certain words or phrases; take them out or rewrite using words that feel natural to you. This will enhance your speech delivery by a mile.
Practising with a friend or recording yourself can refine your performance. Always practise standing up, as if you’re already delivering your speech on the day. It will boost your confidence and your body will recall this feeling when it counts.
Practical tips
Keep it concise: Aim for a speech length of about 3 to 5 minutes. This timeframe is sufficient to convey your message without losing the audience’s attention.
Keep it appropriate: Limit alcohol consumption before your speech to stay clear-headed and composed and avoid inappropriate stories.
Language: If international guests are attending who don’t speak the same language, use ChatGPT to translate your speech and print copies. I delivered my speech in Dutch and printed a few copies of the speech in English. The translation was perfect and didn’t need any work and the guests appreciated it so much.
In essence, a great wedding speech blends personal touches, entertainment and emotion, leaving both the couple and the guests with a positive and lasting impression.
Are you going to deliver a wedding speech to remember this year? Let me know in the comments!