From Carnaval to Confidence
How Brazil Gave Me a New Perspective on Confidence
Brazil. A country known for its football legends, the vast Amazon rainforest and, of course, carnaval.
I’m very fortunate to be spending a few weeks in Rio de Janeiro together with my Brazilian partner. I got to meet his family and his friends and each of them welcomes me with open arms. My current way of communicating is by mixing my knowledge of Spanish with the Portuguese that I’ve been learning for the past 2 years, creating something they jokingly call “Portuñol“ here. By doing so, I've been able to have some pretty good conversations with them as well as the friendly locals in bars, restaurants or places we stay.
Brazilian people are the most warm and hospitable people you’ll ever meet: friendly, welcoming and full of joy. What I wasn’t aware of before coming here, is the incredible level of body confidence that the Brazilians, and specifically the women, have. As confidence is a big component of public speaking in my view, I got curious and started observing the way these beautiful women carry themselves with admiration.
On the street, at the beach or at the gym you see women of all shapes and sizes wearing revealing outfits that in Australia one perhaps wouldn’t feel confident to wear. However, the Brazilian women seem in no way self-conscious about their body. Being here, made me realise that body positivity isn’t about having a ‘perfect’ body; it’s about owning the one you have. Brazilian women don’t seem to wait until they reach a certain shape to feel good about themselves; it looks like they simply do.
And then there was carnaval, an entirely new level of confidence and energy. Like me, many of you may know the images of the carnaval parade in Rio; gorgeous women dancing in the smallest and most colourful costumes. I had the unique opportunity to witness them dancing in person from up close and I can say that experience is truly something else. These “sambistas” can move their hips in ways I’ve never seen before. Full of confidence, they dance on their stilettos and in very heavy costumes along the 700m of “Sambódromo” where the carnaval parade takes place. Watching them dance during carnaval made me reflect on my own relationship with body confidence. If they can own their space so unapologetically, why shouldn’t I?
That’s easier said than done. If body confidence doesn’t come naturally to you, I get it, I’ve been there. Still now, I sometimes feel self-conscious. But over the years, I’ve made changes that have helped me feel more at confident in my own skin. And this had a huge effect on how I show up on stage: I believe that what I have to say matters, I stand tall and speak with conviction and this makes a difference for the way I present. I’m no longer worried when people look at me, standing there and sharing a story in front of a large audience. People perceive me as a confident person, even though I still feel the nerves, of course.
I will share my own experience, what worked for me and how it changed the way I look at myself. If this is something that you find challenging as well, perhaps it helps. And perhaps it’s not for you. It may be something completely else that makes you feel confident, I’m curious to know!
I started on a journey to figure out what helps me build my confidence about three years ago. I noticed that I wanted to feel more confident when looking in the mirror, in daily conversations but also when getting up in front of large audiences. I wasn’t feeling good about the way I was eating: I caved for unhealthy snacks throughout the day, whilst I ate my main meals that I considered pretty healthy. Hearing a talk of a nutritionist at my previous company was the push that I needed to actually take action on this. I engaged this same nutritionist and together with her, I reviewed my diet and defined areas of improvement. A few sessions were enough to set myself up for success and from there I started building a diet that I can follow consistently. These are the three key changes that I made:
Eat More Protein: Whether it’s animal protein, plant-based or a mix, I learned to eat more protein to fuel my body well and feel satisfied. I’ll have a protein smoothie or eggs in the morning and my lunch and dinner will also have a portion of protein. That way I have no urge to grab those mid-morning snacks from the kitchen cupboard.
Eat More Fibre: As much as I like a glass of orange juice, I’ve learned to eat whole fruits instead which I’ll have as part of my breakfast and then again in the afternoon. I’ve also become more conscious of adding more vegetables to my meals, even when the recipe doesn’t require it. A portion of nuts a day works wonders too.
Eat Less Sugar: I’ve always been a sweet tooth and I still am, I’ve just learned to limit those treats. I absolutely love a little chocolate after dinner and I can still have that, however I now have dark chocolate instead of the sugary milk or white chocolate. Once my palate adjusted, I like it just as much.
In my opinion, a diet that you’re able to follow sustainably over a long time works better than a crash diet. I never feel that I can’t eat something, as long as it’s in balance. Over the past years I’ve continued to tweak and improve my food intake, for example by creating meal plans together with my partner. For all meals that we cook, we have created a macro overview so we know very well what we eat and then it’s just a matter of sticking to it 80% of the time.
Because, of course, during these travels in Brazil I want to enjoy the local cuisine and don’t feel guilty every meal. I’ll definitely have two pieces of the carrot cake that my sister in law made (because people will always encourage you to eat some more here in Brazil) and I’ll eat the delicious moqueca (a fish stew with coconut milk and dendê oil) more often than necessary. I know that once I’m back in my normal rhythm at home, my normal diet will kick back in and I know that works for me to get and keep my body in shape.
I figured out that for me, exercise is another component of confidence. Since I was young, I’ve always been active playing sports, running and dancing. However, over the past years I’ve become more consistent with my workouts and have really seen a difference. I found an incredibly supportive and fun trainer at the gym just around the corner from my house. She is the reason I kept going multiple times a week, every week. We train in small groups with mainly women and it’s a super encouraging community where I’ve learned so much about correctly performing the different exercises, but also about my own body’s strengths and weaknesses. Joining a run club last year has finally gotten me back into running after years of slacking, which I’m really happy with as well.
I’ve landed on a weekly routine that works well for me and being more consequent in my workouts made a real difference. I do weights training three times a week now and run twice a week and then I’ll practice yoga once a week. For me, this is a perfect balance: I notice that I’ve become stronger and that my body looks more toned.
I came to the conclusion that for me, feeling good in my body means a combination of exercise and clean food, not per se being the skinniest. There is always more that I can do and I’ll keep improving the way I work on my body to gain more confidence. But I’m super happy to see where I am today versus three years ago. It’s definitely a journey, this doesn’t happen overnight. But once I started seeing results, it really motivated me to keep going.
Now, what does this all have to do with public speaking?
Everything.
Confidence, whether in your body or on stage, starts with how you carry yourself. The way you stand, move and own your space directly influences how others perceive you.
How I stand on stage now versus three years ago is completely different. As I said, that mindset shift didn’t happen overnight. It was built through the way I treat my body, the way I fuel myself and the way I choose to show up.
If you’ve struggled with feeling confident in the way you show up, whether on stage or in life, remember: confidence isn’t something that magically appears one day, it’s something you build. One step, one habit, one presentation at a time.
If you’d love a confidence boost too, feel free to reach out!