20 Seconds of Courage

What stories do you tell yourself every day?

Over the past few months, people have said to me: “You must have worked for months to start your own business. The website looks so professional.” Yes, I had been dreaming about this business for years. But if I’m completely honest with you, it wasn’t months and months of preparation. It all started with 20 seconds of courage.

“You know, sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage. Just literally 20 seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”

One of my favourite films is We Bought a Zoo starring Matt Damon - don't judge. This line has always stayed with me, giving me courage in my own decisions and inspiring me to support others in theirs.

My relatively new journey into entrepreneurship may look pretty flash from the outside: You just start your own company and start writing, you’re free to do whatever you want and work whenever you want. But there are days that I question all these decisions, wondering whether I did the right thing and if this is really going to work out.

These and many more self-sabotaging thoughts flood my brain from time to time. Your thoughts can be so powerful; they can either drive you forward or hold you back from pursuing what you truly want but also fear.

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Last year, I read the book The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest. That’s where I actually learned more about this thing called self-sabotage. I had heard of the term before, but had never really explored it further. This book really made a big impact on me, I still think about it often. So often that I wanted to share some of my learnings in this newsletter. And you may see references to this book again in the future. Because I know that I’m not alone in experiencing these self-sabotaging thoughts, especially when it comes to public speaking…

What is self-sabotage?

Contrary to what I thought, self-sabotage is not intentionally hurting yourself. It also has nothing to do with laziness or lack of discipline. Self-sabotage often stems from unresolved trauma, fear or limiting beliefs. Unconsciously, you try to ‘protect yourself’ from change and discomfort. It’s a survival mechanism.

Your thoughts are yours

Your brain is wired in a way to find evidence for your own thoughts. If you constantly tell yourself, “I’m not good enough,” your brain will look for evidence to confirm that belief, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. I still trip over this sometimes. Limiting beliefs can really hold you back from achieving great things. If I’ve learned anything in this past year, it’s that I can do so much more than I ever thought. And that’s exactly the problem: “than I ever thought”. Because I thought a lot of things about myself. That I wasn’t the right person to have my own business. That I didn’t know enough yet to be an entrepreneur and therefore that I first had to learn more, working for someone else before I could start out on my own.

I was responsible for these thoughts, I made them up. And the more I said these things to myself, the less likely I was going to move forward. I was stuck - I had become the mountain.

How did I do it anyway? This is where I refer to the 20 seconds of courage quote (and the support of some amazing people around me). It needed one specific request from someone to help with their public speaking and a conversation with my Startmate mentor at exactly the right time. And just like that, I committed and got started. Of course, there were more doubts but my partner was there every step of the way to encourage and support me: “Yes, I could do this. Yes, we would get that website up and running. Yes, there will be people who want to read what I have to say.” And so, I kept going and here we are today: newsletter number eleven.

Caring less, living more

It’s natural to fear what others think, we do it all the time. But the fact is, people are pretty busy with themselves. We often overestimate how much people are actually paying attention to us. Seeking external validation and fearing judgment can prevent us from taking risks, pursuing our goals and ultimately becoming our true self.

One of the major forms of self-sabotage is caring too much about what other people think. At least once a week, if not more, I think to myself: “Are people even interested in what I write every week?” “Perhaps they think I’m stupid for writing these things.”

But then I remember this quote. It doesn’t matter what others think. What I think of me, that’s the only thing that matters. It’s the story I tell myself every day that defines where I’ll go. And it’s within my power to change that story to whatever I want it to be.

Are you hesitating on a decision because you’re afraid of judgment? Do you have self-limiting beliefs holding you back? I know what it’s like. But I also know that you have all that it takes to change that. To train your brain, become more aware of the stories you tell yourself, and change them.

I’ve developed a workshop that’s called The Words We Use To Tell Our Story. And it’s exactly about this topic. If you want to learn more - shoot me a message!

You're capable of anything as long as you believe in yourself. So if you have a crazy idea, do it!

Find those 20 seconds of courage and start. You’ll be amazed by the results.