I’m very fortunate to be spending a few weeks in Rio de Janeiro together with my Brazilian partner. I got to meet his family and his friends and each of them welcomes me with open arms. My current way of communicating is by mixing my knowledge of Spanish with the Portuguese that I’ve been learning for the past 2 years, creating something they jokingly call “Portuñol“ here. By doing so, I've been able to have some pretty good conversations with them as well as the friendly locals in bars, restaurants or places we stay.

Brazilian people are the most warm and hospitable people you’ll ever meet: friendly, welcoming and full of joy. What I wasn’t aware of before coming here, is the incredible level of body confidence that the Brazilians, and specifically the women, have. As confidence is a big component of public speaking in my view, I got curious and started observing the way these beautiful women carry themselves with admiration.

On the street, at the beach or at the gym you see women of all shapes and sizes wearing revealing outfits that in Australia one perhaps wouldn’t feel confident to wear. However, the Brazilian women seem in no way self-conscious about their body. Being here, made me realise that body positivity isn’t about having a ‘perfect’ body; it’s about owning the one you have. Brazilian women don’t seem to wait until they reach a certain shape to feel good about themselves; it looks like they simply do.

And then there was carnaval, an entirely new level of confidence and energy. Like me, many of you may know the images of the carnaval parade in Rio; gorgeous women dancing in the smallest and most colourful costumes. I had the unique opportunity to witness them dancing in person from up close and I can say that experience is truly something else. These “sambistas” can move their hips in ways I’ve never seen before. Full of confidence, they dance on their stilettos and in very heavy costumes along the 700m of “Sambódromo” where the carnaval parade takes place. Watching them dance during carnaval made me reflect on my own relationship with body confidence. If they can own their space so unapologetically, why shouldn’t I?

That’s easier said than done. If body confidence doesn’t come naturally to you, I get it, I’ve been there. Still now, I sometimes feel self-conscious. But over the years, I’ve made changes that have helped me feel more at confident in my own skin. And this had a huge effect on how I show up on stage: I believe that what I have to say matters, I stand tall and speak with conviction and this makes a difference for the way I present. I’m no longer worried when people look at me, standing there and sharing a story in front of a large audience. People perceive me as a confident person, even though I still feel the nerves, of course.

I will share my own experience, what worked for me and how it changed the way I look at myself. If this is something that you find challenging as well, perhaps it helps. And perhaps it’s not for you. It may be something completely else that makes you feel confident, I’m curious to know!

I started on a journey to figure out what helps me build my confidence about three years ago. I noticed that I wanted to feel more confident when looking in the mirror, in daily conversations but also when getting up in front of large audiences. I wasn’t feeling good about the way I was eating: I caved for unhealthy snacks throughout the day, whilst I ate my main meals that I considered pretty healthy. Hearing a talk of a nutritionist at my previous company was the push that I needed to actually take action on this. I engaged this same nutritionist and together with her, I reviewed my diet and defined areas of improvement. A few sessions were enough to set myself up for success and from there I started building a diet that I can follow consistently. These are the three key changes that I made:

Eat More Protein: Whether it’s animal protein, plant-based or a mix, I learned to eat more protein to fuel my body well and feel satisfied. I’ll have a protein smoothie or eggs in the morning and my lunch and dinner will also have a portion of protein. That way I have no urge to grab those mid-morning snacks from the kitchen cupboard.

Eat More Fibre: As much as I like a glass of orange juice, I’ve learned to eat whole fruits instead which I’ll have as part of my breakfast and then again in the afternoon. I’ve also become more conscious of adding more vegetables to my meals, even when the recipe doesn’t require it. A portion of nuts a day works wonders too.

Eat Less Sugar: I’ve always been a sweet tooth and I still am, I’ve just learned to limit those treats. I absolutely love a little chocolate after dinner and I can still have that, however I now have dark chocolate instead of the sugary milk or white chocolate. Once my palate adjusted, I like it just as much.

In my opinion, a diet that you’re able to follow sustainably over a long time works better than a crash diet. I never feel that I can’t eat something, as long as it’s in balance. Over the past years I’ve continued to tweak and improve my food intake, for example by creating meal plans together with my partner. For all meals that we cook, we have created a macro overview so we know very well what we eat and then it’s just a matter of sticking to it 80% of the time.

Because, of course, during these travels in Brazil I want to enjoy the local cuisine and don’t feel guilty every meal. I’ll definitely have two pieces of the carrot cake that my sister in law made (because people will always encourage you to eat some more here in Brazil) and I’ll eat the delicious moqueca (a fish stew with coconut milk and dendê oil) more often than necessary. I know that once I’m back in my normal rhythm at home, my normal diet will kick back in and I know that works for me to get and keep my body in shape.

I figured out that for me, exercise is another component of confidence. Since I was young, I’ve always been active playing sports, running and dancing. However, over the past years I’ve become more consistent with my workouts and have really seen a difference. I found an incredibly supportive and fun trainer at the gym just around the corner from my house. She is the reason I kept going multiple times a week, every week. We train in small groups with mainly women and it’s a super encouraging community where I’ve learned so much about correctly performing the different exercises, but also about my own body’s strengths and weaknesses. Joining a run club last year has finally gotten me back into running after years of slacking, which I’m really happy with as well.

I’ve landed on a weekly routine that works well for me and being more consequent in my workouts made a real difference. I do weights training three times a week now and run twice a week and then I’ll practice yoga once a week. For me, this is a perfect balance: I notice that I’ve become stronger and that my body looks more toned.

I came to the conclusion that for me, feeling good in my body means a combination of exercise and clean food, not per se being the skinniest. There is always more that I can do and I’ll keep improving the way I work on my body to gain more confidence. But I’m super happy to see where I am today versus three years ago. It’s definitely a journey, this doesn’t happen overnight. But once I started seeing results, it really motivated me to keep going.

Now, what does this all have to do with public speaking?

Everything.

Confidence, whether in your body or on stage, starts with how you carry yourself. The way you stand, move and own your space directly influences how others perceive you.

How I stand on stage now versus three years ago is completely different. As I said, that mindset shift didn’t happen overnight. It was built through the way I treat my body, the way I fuel myself and the way I choose to show up.

If you’ve struggled with feeling confident in the way you show up, whether on stage or in life, remember: confidence isn’t something that magically appears one day, it’s something you build. One step, one habit, one presentation at a time.

If you’d love a confidence boost too, feel free to reach out!

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A good friend of mine shared this video with me when I was at a cross-roads in my career a few years ago. I was presented with a really interesting job opportunity, but it would have meant leaving Australia and moving back to the Netherlands. I didn’t know what to do, I had worked so hard to get to Australia but the role I was in, wasn’t challenging enough for me.

At that time, I watched this video a few times and it gave me new insights that ultimately convinced me to take the risk and stay in Australia whilst battling through lockdowns and work challenges. I’m so happy I did and that I didn’t cave for the conventional “what other people think is best for you” path. It was the adventure that brought me to Australia and I chose to continue the adventure, which eventually led to my permanent residency and the freedom to stay indefinitely in Australia.

If you've never watched Carla Harris speak, you’re in for a treat! I’ll give you a bit of background first. Carla Harris is a senior finance executive on Wall Street, author and motivational speaker. She has published books including Expect to Win and is also a gospel singer. This fact may surprise you in a summarised bio, but bear with me and you’ll understand why I mention this.

Over the years, Carla has delivered her Pearls of Wisdom talk at various events. The version I always return to was delivered over 10 years ago, but the message remains just as relevant today. It offers key lessons from her career, emphasising authenticity, resilience and taking risks. It’s about making your voice heard, a message that aligns perfectly with the mission I have with Brava and that’s why I wanted to spend some time on it in this week’s newsletter.

However, it isn’t just the message from this talk that stuck with me. It's also the incredible power with which Carla delivers her speech. She uses a few techniques that I’ll highlight before diving into the content:

Number one is definitely storytelling. The personal anecdotes make that you’ll remember Carla’s key points far more easily. Years after watching this video for the first time, I still remembered the anecdote where she created the perception of ‘being tough’. I remembered the lesson because of the story she told and since, I’ve been more conscious myself of including storytelling in my work.

Another great technique you’ll see in action is audience participation. By asking the audience questions, having them repeat certain phrases and even singing along to a song, Carla creates a strong connection with her audience. It gets people on board with your message and the audience also has a better experience as they feel part of it. It’s a great technique that I’d recommend in any speech.

Lastly, I wanted to highlight the power of repetition. If you want your key points to stick, don’t hesitate to repeat them. The audience is continually processing your message, so repeating a sentence has two effects: it indicates that it’s an important point to remember and at the same time it gives the audience the time to process your message.

I would strongly recommend watching the whole video, I promise you won’t be disappointed. However, below are the three ‘pearls’ that Carla presents with my personal take-aways:

1. Embrace Authenticity: “Nobody can be you the way that you can be you."

Bring your true self to every situation and show everything that you are, not just the parts that you think people will like about you. Authenticity allows you to differentiate yourself and connect with others on a deeper level, because people are drawn to those who are comfortable and confident in their own skin. And that’s how Carla changed from wanting to be known solely as that no-nonsense, hard-working, analytical investment banker to Carla the capital markets banker who is also an incredible the gospel singer. Because it builds trust and creates connection.

2. Reframing Fear and Embracing Risk: “Fear has no place in your success equation.”

This was the lesson that resonated most with me whilst on that career crossroad: becoming comfortable with taking calculated risks. No rushed, spur of the moment risks, but thought-out risks to differentiate yourself and seize growth opportunities. In order to do so, Carla says you should evaluate new opportunities by considering whether they offer you new skills, new connections and future opportunities. If they do, you should absolutely take the risk.

3. Manage Perceptions to Maximise Success: “Perception is the co-pilot to reality."

This one blew my mind and because of the incredible storytelling I remember reciting this example multiple times to friends and colleagues. Carla speaks about the importance of intentionally presenting yourself in the way you want to be perceived so that others will start seeing you that way. She suggests to think about the adjectives you would like people to use referring to you when you’re not in the room. Because she says all important decisions about your career are made when you’re not in the room. Therefore, identifying and embodying the key adjectives linked to success in your current or next role is crucial for your career growth.

Carla Harris’ Pearls of Wisdom remind us that success isn’t just about skills. It’s about how we show up, take risks and shape the way others perceive us. By embracing authenticity, reframing fear and managing perceptions, we can take control of our own narratives and open doors to new opportunities. Her insights are timeless and I hope they resonate with you as much as they have with me.

I’m keen to hear what your highlight is from the video! Let me know in the comments.

And if you want to learn how you too can speak with confidence? Reach out or have a look on my website.

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Do you recognise that feeling? I think it’s safe to say we’ve all had moments like this. It’s happened to me many times.

I used to be so nervous to speak without notes. Terrified that I would forget to mention a key point or that I would go completely blank. I would write my script and try to memorise the text.

As a back-up, I tried all the tricks in the book:

• Printing the text in font size XXL, ending up with a pile of paper.

• Printing the text with very wide margins, thinking: fewer words per line improves readability in case of emergency.

• Creating note cards with the most important sentences and running out of cards.

• Sticking Post-it notes around my screen when presenting online, only for them to come twirling down halfway through the presentation.

Here’s a photo of one of my first “big presentations” that I did 3 years ago. I’m standing in front of 300 young beef producers in Roma, QLD and all I could think was: Who am I to tell all these people something about sustainability and the importance of community? This Dutch girl from the city who has been in Australia less than 3 years…

These self-sabotaging thoughts clouding my brain obviously didn’t help me deliver an engaging presentation. Quite the opposite: I was so nervous that I couldn’t leave the lectern and ended up reading significant parts of my presentation.

Reflecting on this presentation, I realised something interesting. This feeling of being so nervous to make mistakes and forget my text happened to me only with certain presentations. And those were the presentations where I wasn’t telling the stories that I had created myself, where the content wasn’t my own and I was referring to work of other departments that I wasn’t fully comfortable with. I tried to memorise this content, hoping that it would come out as my own. But I realised I was doing it all wrong.

When you memorise a piece of text from beginning to end, you teach your brain to remember the sentences in a certain order. This comes with a risk. If you forget one or two sentences you may lose your train of thought and you don’t know where to pick the story back up.

Since then, I’ve prepared my presentations differently. I’ve developed the following method that helps me build a story that is my own and that I can tell without holding notes in my hand:

Step 1 - Define your core message: Start with deciding on the key ideas that you’re aiming to get across. Place them in the order that is most logical. This is your scaffolding, you’ll build everything else around it.

Step 2 - Create your stories: Using the technique of the Story Bank, build the stories around these core messages. Try to find a balance between data, anecdotes and analogies; you want to avoid losing your audience presenting 10 graphs in a row. Don’t shy away from emotions: you can show the pain of the problem you’re discussing and later the excitement when presenting your solution.

Step 3 - Practise out loud: Start by reading the text out loud to yourself and you’ll quickly notice if the words flow naturally when you speak. If they don’t, change them! Then start practising on others. This doesn’t have to be the full presentation. Another technique is to incorporate parts of your presentation into daily conversations with people around you. That way, it comes out more naturally each time.

Using this method has significantly improved my speaking. Six months later, I spoke like this instead:

Do you also want to feel more confident on stage and never worry about forgetting your text again? I help professionals craft and deliver powerful presentations that feel natural and engaging, without the stress of memorisation. If you’d like to learn this and practise with expert guidance, check out my coaching programmes here.

Let’s make your next presentation one to remember!

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“You know, sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage. Just literally 20 seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”

One of my favourite films is We Bought a Zoo starring Matt Damon - don't judge. This line has always stayed with me, giving me courage in my own decisions and inspiring me to support others in theirs.

My relatively new journey into entrepreneurship may look pretty flash from the outside: You just start your own company and start writing, you’re free to do whatever you want and work whenever you want. But there are days that I question all these decisions, wondering whether I did the right thing and if this is really going to work out.

These and many more self-sabotaging thoughts flood my brain from time to time. Your thoughts can be so powerful; they can either drive you forward or hold you back from pursuing what you truly want but also fear.

This post contains affiliate links. I may earn a commission if you purchase through these links at no extra cost to you.

Last year, I read the book The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest. That’s where I actually learned more about this thing called self-sabotage. I had heard of the term before, but had never really explored it further. This book really made a big impact on me, I still think about it often. So often that I wanted to share some of my learnings in this newsletter. And you may see references to this book again in the future. Because I know that I’m not alone in experiencing these self-sabotaging thoughts, especially when it comes to public speaking…

What is self-sabotage?

Contrary to what I thought, self-sabotage is not intentionally hurting yourself. It also has nothing to do with laziness or lack of discipline. Self-sabotage often stems from unresolved trauma, fear or limiting beliefs. Unconsciously, you try to ‘protect yourself’ from change and discomfort. It’s a survival mechanism.

Your thoughts are yours

Your brain is wired in a way to find evidence for your own thoughts. If you constantly tell yourself, “I’m not good enough,” your brain will look for evidence to confirm that belief, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. I still trip over this sometimes. Limiting beliefs can really hold you back from achieving great things. If I’ve learned anything in this past year, it’s that I can do so much more than I ever thought. And that’s exactly the problem: “than I ever thought”. Because I thought a lot of things about myself. That I wasn’t the right person to have my own business. That I didn’t know enough yet to be an entrepreneur and therefore that I first had to learn more, working for someone else before I could start out on my own.

I was responsible for these thoughts, I made them up. And the more I said these things to myself, the less likely I was going to move forward. I was stuck - I had become the mountain.

How did I do it anyway? This is where I refer to the 20 seconds of courage quote (and the support of some amazing people around me). It needed one specific request from someone to help with their public speaking and a conversation with my Startmate mentor at exactly the right time. And just like that, I committed and got started. Of course, there were more doubts but my partner was there every step of the way to encourage and support me: “Yes, I could do this. Yes, we would get that website up and running. Yes, there will be people who want to read what I have to say.” And so, I kept going and here we are today: newsletter number eleven.

Caring less, living more

It’s natural to fear what others think, we do it all the time. But the fact is, people are pretty busy with themselves. We often overestimate how much people are actually paying attention to us. Seeking external validation and fearing judgment can prevent us from taking risks, pursuing our goals and ultimately becoming our true self.

One of the major forms of self-sabotage is caring too much about what other people think. At least once a week, if not more, I think to myself: “Are people even interested in what I write every week?” “Perhaps they think I’m stupid for writing these things.”

But then I remember this quote. It doesn’t matter what others think. What I think of me, that’s the only thing that matters. It’s the story I tell myself every day that defines where I’ll go. And it’s within my power to change that story to whatever I want it to be.

Are you hesitating on a decision because you’re afraid of judgment? Do you have self-limiting beliefs holding you back? I know what it’s like. But I also know that you have all that it takes to change that. To train your brain, become more aware of the stories you tell yourself, and change them.

I’ve developed a workshop that’s called The Words We Use To Tell Our Story. And it’s exactly about this topic. If you want to learn more - shoot me a message!

You're capable of anything as long as you believe in yourself. So if you have a crazy idea, do it!

Find those 20 seconds of courage and start. You’ll be amazed by the results.

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In the Netherlands we learn English from a very young age at school. Many people that I met even think it’s our second language since so many Dutch people are good English speakers. That doesn’t mean though that the Dutch don’t have an accent in English, I’m sure many are familiar with it. It’s very hard, especially when you learn a second language at a later age, to speak that language like a native speaker would. Research suggests that adults may be able to learn new soundsbut will often produce them with an accent due to the “speech sound categories” in their native language that are difficult to override.

We all have some kind of accent. Whether it’s in your mother tongue, showcasing which part of the country you’re from, or in a second (or even third) language. Your accent is part of who you are and your identity. I personally think accents are beautiful because it shows some of your personality. I’m therefore in no way advocating that people should lose their accent completely. However, there is one thing to consider.

A few months ago, I participated in a Toastmasters contest. One of the judging criteria in such a contest is correctness, which includes grammar, pronunciation and word choice. When judging a participant on pronunciation, the guideline is: points cannot be deducted for speaking with an accent unless it significantly hinders the audience’s ability to understand the speaker.

Sometimes that can be an issue. If people frequently ask you to repeat yourself and you know you have a strong accent, it may be helpful to become more aware of when your accent makes it difficult for your audience to understand you.

The good news is: a lot can be done by articulating better. Articulation can significantly enhance your communication, regardless of your accent. There are practical techniques to improve articulation and, consequently, your accent. For instance, you can do exercises that involve exaggerating mouth movements to promote clearer speech. Speaking in front of a mirror is another technique that allows you to observe how your lips, tongue and jaw move. By implementing these techniques and practising regularly, you can improve the clarity of your speech whilst retaining your unique accent.

Want to learn more about how to improve your communication through relevant exercises? Send me a message!

A great example of someone who has achieved a near-native English accent is the Brazilian singer Anitta. She is renowned for her impressive command of multiple languages including English, Spanish, Italian and French. Her proficiency in English is particularly notable, as she often speaks with a near-native accent. This achievement is the result of dedicated study and practice.

In interviews, Anitta has mentioned that embracing new languages requires humility and a willingness to start from zero again:

“I’ve got to do it all over again in Spanish then in English and it’s a lot of work. You’ve got to have no ego.You can’t be scared of risking or failing.”

I love learning new languages myself. I currently speak four languages and am learning the fifth. For me, the most important part of learning a new language is not being afraid to make mistakes. Only by practising will you be able to master it.

Anitta says listening to other singers and trying to sing with them was a great way to learn another language.

What are some techniques that you have used to learn a second or maybe even third language? I’d love to know!

Earlier this week, I attended the Australian Open for the very first time. It wasn’t just my first visit to “the tennis”, as they say, but my first time at a sports event of such magnitude. The energy of the crowd, the seamless organisation and the incredible athletes were all so impressive. If you’re in Australia (or willing to travel) and haven’t been, I can highly recommend it.

To perform at that elite level, these players have put in years of relentless work, enduring sacrifices most of us can only imagine. The discipline and consistency required to reach the top are nothing short of extraordinary. In one of my previous newsletters, I talked about the importance of discipline and consistency to reach your goals. In tennis, this is even more evident as statistics are meticulously tracked and extensively discussed by the press: players’ positions in the rankings, number of matches won and prize money earned only to name a few.

What really stood out to me, however, was their ability to adapt to adversity. Injury, unfortunately, is a common companion on this journey, yet I watched in amazement as some players powered through unimaginable pain, still managing to win their matches. Witnessing that kind of resilience and perseverance was both inspiring and humbling.

It’s not just their physical and mental grit on the court that impressed me. How they handled themselves when talking to the press was also phenomenal. The post-match interviews were masterclasses in composure and communication. The reporters were relentless in probing for insights into potential injuries, eager for a slip of the tongue that might reveal a vulnerability to the player’s next opponent. Yet every time, the players skilfully deflected or reframed these questions, leaving just enough unsaid while still appearing gracious and in control.

Some players, like Ben Shelton, have indicated they did not appreciate the approach of the reporters during the Australian Open interviews. For the purposes of this newsletter, I focussed on the interview skills of the players, not the reporters.

Handling tricky questions with grace isn’t just a skill for tennis players. All of us, at some point, have faced questions we’d rather not answer, whether in a professional setting, at a social gathering or during a job interview. It’s easy to close off or resort to a blunt “no comment,” but there’s a subtle art to steering the conversation while staying confident and approachable.

Here’s where we can take a page from the pros’ playbook. Let’s explore a few techniques they use to keep their composure and sidestep awkward questions:

Controlling the narrative

One moment that really stood out to me was Jannik Sinner’s calm and calculated response in a post-match interview. If you’re not familiar with tennis, he is an Italian tennis player currently the number 1 in the world. After a hard-fought match, the reporter tried to dig into the status of an apparent injury. He asks: “You were taken off-court by the medical team here, what were you dealing with physically?”

Instead of addressing the question directly, which could potentially give his opponents an edge, Sinner chose to redirect. He steered the conversation towards his preparation that day and how he performed during the match. He continued by complimenting the medical staff and organisation of the tournament followed by addressing and thanking the crowd that roars in applause, which ends the question without giving an actual answer. The reporter is then left with no choice other than to thank him and let him start his recovery.

This was a masterclass in maintaining control of the narrative. By pivoting to his own story, Sinner avoided revealing sensitive information while still offering a thoughtful response. It’s a great reminder that we don’t always have to answer the question asked. Sometimes, it’s more effective to answer the question we want to be asked.

Watch this part of Sinner’s interview here:

Another great example of controlling the narrative comes from the Polish tennis player Iga Swiatek, currently number 2 in the world. Whilst Swiatek’s interview has made waves for her cheeky remark about having better coffee in Sydney than in Melbourne, there was something else that caught my attention.

The reporter opened with a playful question about whether Swiatek had a lunch meeting that made her bring this match to a win so quickly and effectively. Swiatek didn’t let it dictate her response. Instead, she skilfully used the opportunity to pivot back to her own narrative and ended the question within the first 0:30 seconds of the interview.

By taking control of the conversation, she demonstrated the power of answering on her own terms; keeping the interaction both engaging and purposeful.

Watch the interview with Swiatek here:

Humour

Another standout moment from the Australian Open this year came from the Serbian Novak Djokovic, currently number 7 in the world, a pro when it comes to both tennis and interviews. After winning the third round, during the traditional on-court interview, he used the same technique as mentioned above when it comes to the question about his injury. However, he includes a bit of humour joking about his age instead of sharing what his injury was.

A bit later, a fan in the crowd heckled him with a marriage proposal. Djokovic, never one to miss an opportunity for humour, defused the situation instantly with his witty response: “Sorry, mate, I have a wife.” The crowd started laughing and the entire moment went viral. Djokovic’s quick wit not only lightened the mood but also allowed him to redirect the energy of the interaction without appearing dismissive. A bit of humour can turn an awkward or challenging moment into a positive, engaging experience.

When watching this interview, it truly amazes me how Djokovic and many other players manage to provide such witty and collected responses after having played gruelling matches that could have gone for more than three hours.

Watch Djokovic’s interview here:

What if I overshare?

It happens to all of us: in the heat of the moment, we say something and immediately wish we could hit rewind and try again. This happened to Coco Gauff, American player currently ranking number 3 in the world, in her interview after winning the third round. When asked about her tennis outfit, she opened up about the challenges of getting in and out of it, talking about an Instagram story she made where she demonstrates how she goes to the bathroom in it. She quickly clarified with a laugh: “Not like actually demonstrating, but just to get the idea”.

The arena burst out in laughter and the moment went viral for all the right reasons. Gauff’s candidness made her relatable and it’s a reminder that sometimes, being open and authentic, even with a touch of oversharing, can win people over.

Watch this moment with Gauff here:

When was the last time you were asked an awkward question? I’d love to learn about it in the comments!

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That last person standing up? That was me at my high school friend’s wedding in the Netherlands last year. A tough slot, right before dessert when everyone is eagerly waiting to get on the dance floor. At that same dance floor multiple people came up to me to compliment me on my speech. It wasn’t just friends being kind, strangers came up to tell me how much they enjoyed it.

What made my speech stand out, I wondered. I had told stories of our childhood, of how my friend had met her beautiful life partner and I had wished them well on this new life-long adventure together. Not much different from what others had done earlier in the day. So what made it so memorable for people?

For the purpose of this newsletter, I analysed my own speech and several wedding speeches online to find out what elements make the difference between an average speech and an unforgettable one.

These are my five key take-aways on how to draft and deliver a killer wedding speech:

Introduction

In the opening of your speech, make sure that you introduce yourself to provide context for your audience. You can make your introduction more engaging by linking it to a short story, for example referencing the first moment you met the bride and/or groom.

Especially in the first minute of your speech, using a bit of humour or a relatable anecdote about the newlyweds will create a connection with your audience. This will keep them engaged throughout your speech and they’ll want to hear more of what you’re telling them.

You can choose to focus on the bride and groom throughout, however, I prefer addressing the audience and keeping personal remarks for the end.

Personal stories

Storytelling is a great way to keep people engaged. Take some time in your preparation to think back to some good stories that you can share: memories of funny moments, memorable interactions that you had and key moments in your lives. The best stories offer a glimpse into the couple’s lives, but also include a bit of humour.

Remember to keep it light-hearted, a wedding speech is not a roast, and avoid inside jokes that the majority of your audience won’t understand or stories that might be embarrassing or inappropriate. The goal of your speech is to create a memorable moment for everyone present, especially the bride and groom.

Authenticity

This is a really important one to make your speech stand out. Speak from the heart and don't be afraid to show your emotions. Authenticity resonates with your audience and will make your speech more impactful. Deliberate pauses in your speech can be powerful. Practise with this at home before the wedding day.

You want your speech to be sincere and honest, don’t shy away from addressing a difficult time in the couple’s lives. I chose to do so (after having checked with the bride’s close family if it was ok) and it was a very powerful moment in the speech. Make it a short reflective moment and don’t let it overshadow your speech. The majority of your speech should be positive and celebratory.

Practise and prepare

Rehearse your speech multiple times to build confidence and to make sure the delivery goes smoothly. You may find you’ll stumble over certain words or phrases; take them out or rewrite using words that feel natural to you. This will enhance your speech delivery by a mile.

Practising with a friend or recording yourself can refine your performance. Always practise standing up, as if you’re already delivering your speech on the day. It will boost your confidence and your body will recall this feeling when it counts.

Practical tips

• Keep it concise: Aim for a speech length of about 3 to 5 minutes. This timeframe is sufficient to convey your message without losing the audience’s attention.

• Keep it appropriate: Limit alcohol consumption before your speech to stay clear-headed and composed and avoid inappropriate stories.

• Language: If international guests are attending who don’t speak the same language, use ChatGPT to translate your speech and print copies. I delivered my speech in Dutch and printed a few copies of the speech in English. The translation was perfect and didn’t need any work and the guests appreciated it so much.

In essence, a great wedding speech blends personal touches, entertainment and emotion, leaving both the couple and the guests with a positive and lasting impression.

Are you going to deliver a wedding speech to remember this year? Let me know in the comments!

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If you’re hoping this newsletter will magically transform you into a confident speaker, let me save you some time: it won’t. What it will do, however, is show you the uncomfortable truths and essential steps that can get you closer to that goal, if you’re willing to work for it.

Will you make 2025 your year of Speaking with Confidence?

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Discipline and consistency

Public speaking, like mastering any skill, takes discipline and consistency. In my last newsletter I wrote about my goal-setting process and how I set an annual theme at the beginning of each year. Setting goals for yourself is helpful because it fosters discipline and consistency. Everything you’ve learned so far wasn’t achieved by accident. Growth is painful, and it takes time and dedication. The first stages are really, really hard; we’ve all been there. That’s why setting a goal is scary: we’re committing to achieving something we haven’t yet mastered. Thoughts like, ‘What if I fail?’ will run through your mind. But what if you fly? If you choose a goal that truly matters to you and you’re determined to achieve, you’ll find the discipline to work on it, even when you don’t feel like it. You’ll stay consistent, even on days when motivation is lacking, because motivation alone isn’t enough. I learned this the hard way when I attempted to become a surfer.

In my early years in Australia, I was keen to learn how to surf. After all, Australia is a surfer’s paradise. I imagined myself becoming this great surfer, heading out to catch some waves at Australia’s most beautiful beaches. Filled with optimism, I signed up for a five-day intensive surf camp. By the end of it, I had spent hours tumbling in the whitewash, gulping salt water, and crash-landing on the beach. I kept at it sporadically and did some weekend trips with friends along the NSW coast. But despite my initial enthusiasm, I never became the surfer I dreamed of.

Why? Because motivation alone wasn’t going to get me there. To master surfing, I would’ve needed discipline and consistency—heading out rain or shine three mornings a week, every week, for months on end. Instead, I surfed four times in an entire year. The result? Three years later, my surfboard and wetsuit are gathering dust in the garage.

Mastery

This story is just an example of trying to learn any new skill, just like public speaking. You can get inspired by watching fabulous TED talks or scrolling through TikToks packed with tips and tricks to become a better speaker. But without putting in the work, consistently, you’ll never reach that moment of feeling confident when getting onto that stage.

I’m currently reading The Diary of a CEO by Steven Bartlett, and I think it’s a great read for anyone interested in personal and professional development. In the book Steven describes 33 laws of business & life. Law #2 is: To master it, you must create an obligation to teach. Those of you who are familiar with Steven Bartlett and his incredibly popular podcast The Diary Of A CEO, may know him as a very confident speaker. As he describes it himself in the book, today he is ‘rubbing shoulders with some of the very best [speakers] to ever do it’. What many, myself included, may not know, is that Steven once had extreme stage fright. How did he change from being ‘a train wreck of a public speaker’ to the confident speaker that he is today?

Social contract

Steven describes that he made a promise to himself that every day at 7pm he would write a tweet or make a video and post it online at 8pm. By doing this, he made learning, then writing/recording and sharing it online, a daily obligation, not just an interest.

By posting online every day, he also created a social contract. People started following him for these daily posts and that held him accountable. Publicly committing to something gives you skin in the game. My key insight is this: if you want to master something, do it publicly and consistently. And that’s exactly what I did with public speaking myself.

In 2023 I made the commitment to myself that I wanted to become really good at public speaking. Not just good enough—I wanted to excel and feel completely confident on stage. I joined a Toastmasters club and became more conscious of speaking opportunities at work. In addition, I started posting my learnings on LinkedIn. It was my way of holding myself accountable and ensuring progress toward this goal. Did I have moments where I doubted myself? Tonnes! Did I have meetings that I dreaded that I raised my hand because I felt like I didn’t have enough time to prepare. Many! But because I knew what my end goal was, because I had been posting about this journey online and because I did not want to fail in front of my network, I succeeded. I surpassed my own expectations and founded Brava a year and a half later.

With Brava I aim to support others on their public speaking journey. To gain confidence and acquire tools that will help you become a better speaker. 2025 is here, and there’s no better time to commit to becoming the speaker you’ve always wanted to be. But let me be honest: it won’t happen by accident. The real question is: will you put in the work?

Know someone who could benefit from my content? Send it their way!

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What’s next

In Australia the wedding season is in full swing, in Europe it’s not far away. Next week I’ll share my insights into what makes a great wedding speech and how to write yours.

• 2013 and again in 2015: Work out three times every two weeks (preferably 2x cardio instead of 2x yoga)

• 2014: Eat more fish: Fish fingers don’t count

• 2016: Run the 10k under the hour

• 2018: Don’t put the bar so high for others, be patient

The above also shows the difficulty I see with New Year's resolutions. You write down all these lofty goals, usually unrelated to each other, without focus, and after a month you’ve long forgotten about them. I treasure the tradition that my friend and I had at uni and I have to say that I did run the 10k in exactly an hour in 2017. However, these News Year's resolutions were never really effective. I’m still trying to eat more fish to date.

An Annual Theme

My approach changed in 2022. As part of a Women Leading program that I participated in, we were encouraged to choose a theme for the upcoming year. I had just started in a management role and I wanted to break free from being that junior girl in the room. That’s how 2022 became my year of Achieving with Confidence. I gave this new tradition my own twist. Throughout the year, when I would read or hear something that would remind me of this theme, I’d write them down in what I call my Big Book. It’s filled with quotes from speeches, TED talks and TikToks, book tips and many, many podcasts. My biggest challenge with podcasts has always been figuring out how to “bookmark” those moments when someone says something truly impactful. So far, the best solution I’ve managed is taking a screenshot of my phone to capture the timing, but then I have to go back and listen again later. If anyone has tips for making this process easier, I’d love to hear them.

Focusing on an annual theme worked! As the year 2022 progressed, I built on my confidence and people started addressing me differently. Prioritising one big theme made me feel more accountable and I would actually act upon it on a regular basis. What also helped is telling people about it. Finding accountability buddies is a game-changer when it comes to implementing new habits.

The following year, I wanted to shift from daily operations to focus more on strategic work. Therefore I made 2023 my year of Strategic Leadership. I was committed to it, but I wouldn’t say I fully succeeded. Making headway in the corporate world isn’t always easy.

That’s why 2024 became my year of Shifting Careers. I realised that if I wanted to get ahead and do bigger things, I needed to leave the place that I was in. When I set this goal at the start of 2024, I meant that I wanted to find a new job in a different sector. I didn’t mean: quit my job without something new lined up, go travel for 3 months, start exploring a business acquisition and founding my own company Brava as a women’s public speaking coach. Not in my wildest dreams!

What this proved to me is that we are all capable of so much more than we think. Fear is our biggest enemy. Fear still hits me, weekly but I’m slowly finding ways to bring myself to peace again when that happens. What has helped is finding likeminded people, who are going through the same uncertainties, feeling that you’re not alone. If you need someone to connect to, feel free to reach out! I’m by no means a guru, but it’s always easier together than alone.

Not only did setting an annual theme force me to focus. It also taught me to communicate better what I’m working on. Next time people ask you: “What do you do?” you have the option to talk about your daily job. But how good is it if you have a story that shows more of who you are and what you really want to achieve in life. I feel that’s way more exciting for people to learn about you.

My 2025 approach

As the year comes to a close, I’m sure I’m not the only one already thinking ahead about the goals for 2025. This year, I’m expanding my annual theme ritual with the Annual Life Review designed by May Samali of Human Leadership Lab. This comprehensive 24-page document prompts you to reflect on your wins and lessons and encourages you to set intentions for the coming year. I’m very excited to work through this over the holidays and see what insights it brings!

What is your approach for 2025? Let me know in the comments.

The Misogi Challenge

A few months ago I came across a clip where Jesse Itzler talks about the concept of the Misogi Challenge. Originally, misogi is a traditional Japanese purification ritual with deep roots in Shinto, Japan’s indigenous spirituality. It's focused on cleansing the body, mind, and spirit by enduring cold water or other natural elements. Jesse’s interpretation is a bit different, but I found it very interesting: “The notion of a misogi is that you do one year-defining thing every year. At the beginning of the year, you’ll put one big thing on the calendar that scares you, that you never thought you could do, and go out and do it.”

Looking back, it’s easy to pinpoint significant milestones for each year. 2019 for example, was the year that I moved to Australia. 2024 was the year that I started my own business. However, it’s a bit scarier to commit to that one big thing in advance. It’s really setting some expectations for yourself. I’ve decided I want to add The Misogi Challenge to my Annual Life Review for 2025— now I only have to choose what the challenge is going to be…

Thank you!

Before signing off for 2024, I wanted to take a little moment to thank you for being my OG subscribers. Putting yourself out there and writing every week is not easy. It’s really the feedback that I receive from you that encourages me to keep going. Someone who comes to me and says that they have started a note on their phone with their own Story Bank. Someone who is considering a Loom video for their next job application. Someone even called me an author on LinkedIn! I hadn’t considered myself an author until that moment. It may seem small, but it truly means the world to me.

After a very difficult first half of the year, I can only say that 2024 turned out so much better than I would ever imagined. And that is also thanks to you. So from the bottom of my heart - THANK YOU! I hope you’ll continue to be on this journey with me in 2025.

Happy Holidays!

What’s next

In 2025 there will be more Public Speaking content coming up, such as how to craft a memorable wedding speech and how to use gestures well. I’m also thinking about sharing some more insights into how I turned my corporate career around into a career that gives me more freedom and a more fulfilling life. Stay tuned!

Now it’s time to prepare for the interview. It can feel very daunting; this person on the other side of the table or on the screen is able to come up with any question they can possibly think of. And it’s true, they may ask you anything. Most likely though the questions will revolve around a few themes that I wanted to explore today. Because many interview questions are fairly predictable. They will very likely ask you, for example, to talk about why you want to join their organisation or how you worked as a team to achieve a goal.

We may not be able to predict the exact questions, however, I believe you don’t need to know the question beforehand. Keep reading if you like to find out why I think the question itself is actually not that important.

Before getting there, I’d first like to dive into the concept of the story bank, before identifying six themes that I believe have a very high likelihood of being discussed.

This is part 3 in the 3-part series: Winning in a Competitive Job Market. If you want to learn more about building your (online) brand and standing out in the application process you can find part 1 and 2 here:

The concept of the Story Bank

You have so many amazing stories about your achievements, how you had to show resilience and how you showed leadership. All those stories are somewhere in your head, however when under stress (for example in an interview) you may not remember them. Now, imagine a bookcase, but then in your head. A story bank is exactly that: a collection of your experiences, achievements and challenges that you've neatly organised in the bookcase in your head. I briefly referred to this concept in my very first Substack post as I use it for any kind of impromptu speaking opportunities.

Getting started is pretty simple: you start by collecting stories. This can be in a note, a Confluence page, a Notion page or whatever medium works for you. When starting out, you’ll need to invest some time into filling that blank page. You have to think back on some of your most memorable experiences that really showcase who you are and what you bring to the table. Once you have a few past stories written down, you can keep adding new ones and refining the old ones.

For me it works best to create a summary in bullet points. Because they are your personal stories, a few reminders will most likely be sufficient to recall the experience. When building a story bank for interviews, I recommend focusing on the STAR method:

• Situation: start by setting the scene and briefly explaining the context.

• Task: describe your responsibilities and tasks in that situation.

• Action: explain the steps you took to address the task.

• Result: share the outcome of your actions.

For other impromptu speaking occasions such as a panel discussion, you can think about incorporating a Call to Action for your audience. Or perhaps you want your audience to walk away with a lesson, something to think over a few more times in the days after your speech. If so, you should make it part of your story so it becomes part of your story when you share it. You can even make a separate story bank for when people ask you unexpectedly to share a story, for example at a networking event. Instead of rambling off your CV, you can then tap into more inspiring stories, for instance on something exciting that you’re working on at the moment or your goal for this year.

Common themes for interviews

The good news is that you don’t need 100 stories to create a story bank for your interview. I’ve compiled a list of seven themes that I think cover the most common questions:

1. Teamwork and Collaboration: focuses on your ability to work with others, resolve conflicts, and take on feedback.

2. Communication and Interpersonal Skills: assesses how well you express yourself, listen to others, and build relationships.

3. Problem-Solving and Adaptability: looks at how you approach challenges, make decisions, and adapt to change.

4. Work Ethic and Motivation: explores your drive, dedication, and how you approach responsibilities.

5. Values and Cultural Fit: evaluates alignment between your personal values and the company’s culture or mission.

6. Leadership and Initiative: highlights your ability to take charge, influence others, or step up when a project needs a clear leader.

7. Technical: focuses on role-specific requirements that are most likely mentioned in the job description.

What are some other themes or questions that you think have a very high likelihood of being covered in an interview? Share them in the comments!

It’s not about the question

It may come as a surprise when I say that the question is not really important. Let’s take the theme of problem-solving. The interviewer may come up with a variety of questions, such as:

• Describe a time when you had to deal with an unexpected obstacle. How did you handle it?

• Can you describe a challenging situation at work where you had to think quickly on your feet?

• Have you ever identified an inefficient process at work? What did you do to improve it?

• Describe a time when a solution you proposed didn’t work. What did you learn from it?

The list goes on—you get the idea. Once you have some really strong stories ready, it doesn’t really matter how the question is formulated. When you know that you have a great story ready, the question becomes irrelevant. The above four questions can be answered with the same story that you prepared on showcasing your problem-solving skills.

In my opinion this goes even further. Let’s say you get a question that you didn’t have a story prepared for, perhaps even about something that you don’t have any experience in. Your mind goes blank trying to come up with a good answer but nothing is popping into your head. Instead of getting nervous and admitting that you’ve never encountered such a situation, in my opinion it can be stronger to share a related story in a confident way. Most likely there are overlapping skills you showcased in that situation and lessons that you learned from it.

I hope this provided a fresh perspective on the interview stage. Let me know if you’re trying out the story bank! And if you’d like more personalised help, feel free to have a look on my website sheisbrava.com to see how we can work together.

This is part 3 in the 3-part series: Winning in a Competitive Job Market. If you want to learn more about building your (online) brand and standing out in the application process you can find part 1 and 2 here:

What’s next

In my last newsletter of the year I’ll reflect on the year that has been and I’ll share an Annual Theme exercise I’ve been doing and that could inspire you for 2025.

This is part 2 in the 3-part series: Winning in a Competitive Job Market. If you want to learn more about building your (online) brand read part 1 here:

Conquering the ATS

Generative AI has created an avalanche of applications to companies who are trying to sift through the applicants using AI themselves. There are a few things that you can do to stand out and make sure the Applicant Tracking System (ATS) will keep you in the game and allows you to progress to the next stage:

• use a clean, ATS-friendly format for your CV with no graphics or tables;

• limit your CV to two to three pages maximum. Even with many years of experience this should be doable; and

• tailor your CV with keywords from the company & job description.

AI is your best friend to tailor your CV. Use it—everybody else does too! What you can try is the following: feed the job description into ChatGPT and ask to filter out the keywords: “Please review the above job description. What are the keywords that I should include in my CV when applying for this role?” Make sure you include those keywords in your CV. By that I don’t mean making up stories about your experience. Your experience may have taught you many things; it’s about highlighting the qualities that they’re looking for.

Less about you, more about them

A key lesson I learned from Michael Rubio is that your CV should focus less on you and more on the employer you are applying to. While you’ll have many impressive accomplishments you’re keen to share, not all of them will be relevant to every role.

I learned to create what’s called a Master CV. This will serve as a comprehensive record of all your achievements and experiences and it can be as long as needed. You can then use this resource to tailor your CV to specific roles.

When preparing your CV for a particular role, select and highlight the accomplishments that best align with the job requirements. In doing so, your most relevant achievements will stand out clearly, without being overshadowed by other great—but less pertinent—experiences.

Cover letter

AI is a great editor and reviewer and it's therefore become a lot easier to write a very tailored cover letter: feed it your CV with the job description and it will produce a very sophisticated letter. The problem is, everyone else will do the same. So, how do you stand out?

Nothing beats a personalised message

A technique that I used was to create a Loom video with a personal pitch. Most of the time I included the link to the video in the cover letter, a few times I replaced the cover letter by the video altogether.

Either scenario definitely had successes that I attribute to these videos. During my interviews, hiring managers often positively commented on the Loom. For one application, the video even prompted a response email within just 10 minutes saying:

“Thanks for your personalised application - loved the Loom. Let’s book an interview.”

I always liked using Loom, however, recently a few of the features (such as editing and trimming videos) that used to be available on the free plan are now only available on the paid plan. Still, it’s an easy to use, intuitive tool with free storage of 25 videos. Recently, someone suggested Descript so I’ll definitely check that out too. It looks like they offer a lot of cool tooling in their free plan. If you have any other tools that you like, please share them below in the comments!

What should I talk about in the video?

What worked for me is to have a basic script which I edited for each application. Obviously that’s more work than one standard video, however the personal touch makes it special. You can even address the hiring manager by their name if you like, to make it even more personal. On Loom’s paid plan there is a way to personalise each video with AI. Descript will allow you to rewrite the transcript and you could do it this way. It all depends on your script and the tools you use.

It will definitely take a bit more time in the beginning; I spent a day on the first script, getting to know Loom and recording the video. The later ones I did took me 20 minutes from preparation to a video link that’s ready to go. That still seems like a big commitment, but the results were worth it for me. You’ll also master your script better over time, so that it becomes more natural. Don’t be discouraged when it’s hard in the beginning, it will definitely get easier.

My script was basically a short-form cover letter:

• I’d introduce myself and share some of my superpowers and how they contribute to the role/company

• I’d talk about why I’m interested in the role/company

• I’d wrap up with “Looking forward to meeting you soon”

You can talk about many things of course, as long as it’s relevant for the role. My script would be very conversational style writing, because I wanted to be able to say it naturally in front of the camera. I avoid very long and complex words and keep my sentences as short as possible. This makes it easier for me to tell my story. I know this all sounds very abstract. Hang in there a bit longer, though. If you made it this far, I’ve got a practical example coming up.

How to prepare

I usually draft the script and then practise a few times reading to see if the story flows and if I trip over certain words. In these practice rounds I also check if I need extra punctuation or spacing to make it easier to read when recording. Lastly, I time myself when reading the script. My recommendation for the length of the video is maximum 1:30 minutes (that’s about 140-200 words). You’ll lose people’s attention after that, so any longer content is a waste.

To make it easier, I've created a How-To video so you can see what I’m looking at before recording my video. I’ll show you exactly how I set it up and how to do the recording.

See here a BTS photo of my setup; my kitchen is the brightest room in the house which is ideal for recording videos.

An example

It would only be fair if I shared an example of what a video of mine looks like. Everyone has their own style, so please take this as inspiration only. It’s most important that the video shows the authentic you.

For the purposes of this newsletter I drafted an illustrative job description with the script I use, so you can also see how I address the different key requirements from the JD in my video.

It took me four takes to get it right. I stumbled over a few words in the first take, then I had to cough mid-way and then I got stuck towards the end pausing awkwardly for too long. The fourth time I made it to the end without any major hiccups and I was satisfied with the result. Let me know what you think!

I hate videos of myself

I know, so did I. Insecurities like “Does my voice really sound like that?” and “Why do I move my hands so awkwardly?” are all part of it. Find someone whose opinion you value and let them be the judge, ask for honest and constructive feedback. Our inner critic is way too harsh, especially when starting out.

Practice helps in getting used to seeing yourself on screen. If it’s the first time you’re making videos of yourself you may want to try the following approach:

1. Give yourself three takes to just record the videos. Don’t review them straight away.

2. Instead review them a few hours later or even the next day and watch them two times each.

   1. The first time you’ll focus on the sound; how is your vocal variety? Are you comfortable pronouncing all the words? Are you using many filler words?

   2. The second time you’ll focus on the images; how are your gestures? Are you centred in the screen? Are you fidgeting or distracting the audience in a different way?

3. After this assessment, take your learnings to the next stage and record the video again. Try to keep in mind what you saw yourself doing in the first takes: keep what went well and try to improve what could be better.

For more personalised help, have a look on my website sheisbrava.com to see how we can work together.

What are strategies that have worked for you? Share them in the comments!

If you’ve been struggling to get noticed on this hot job market, I hope these suggestions will help you. Or perhaps you know someone who could benefit from them, please send this newsletter their way!

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What’s next

In part 3 of my series, Winning in a Competitive Job Market, I’ll share the strategies I used to feel more confident in the interview stage.

You can read part 1 on building your (online) brand here:

We know we must stand out to land interviews, especially in the competitive market that we are in today. That’s easier said than done when you’ve just been made redundant and the last thing you can think of is selling yourself. Or when you’re in a role that makes you really unhappy and all you want is to get out of there. It’s hard.

I’ll share a few strategies that have worked for me. I cannot guarantee they’ll get you the job, but they'll definitely make you stand out from other applicants. These strategies not only helped me secure interviews with companies where I cold-applied, but also tipped the scale in my favour: companies and recruiters started reaching out to me with job opportunities.

What started as one newsletter quickly turned into a novel. So here is part one of three in the series: Winning in a Competitive Job Market. Part 2 will cover the application process and part 3 the interview stage.

This post contains affiliate links. I may earn a commission if you purchase through these links at no extra cost to you.

Your Brand

Before we dive into actual applications, let’s talk about your brand. “What's your brand?” can be a pretty hard question to answer. Perhaps you don’t like the word ‘brand’ and it feels a bit too show-offy. I get it. Try not to place too much weight on the semantics. Your brand means nothing more than who you truly are and what you stand for. It’s how you show up every day. Once you’re more aware of it, your brand will help you to better communicate your authentic self and the value you bring to your network and anyone you encounter.

Something that may help you in this process is a book that a good friend recommended to me called TIP: A Simple Strategy to Inspire High Performance and Lasting Success. Through fun and engaging storytelling, the book discusses the significance of crafting your own personal brand as well as strategies to do so and the importance for your personal growth. It lays out four principles that can help your career growth:

• Enhanced Self-Awareness: Understanding your strengths, values, and unique value proposition.

• Confident Communications: Effectively conveying your personal brand through clear and consistent messaging.

• Commitment-Based Actions: Aligning your actions with your brand promises to build trust and credibility.

• Fulfilment of a Unique Value Promise: Delivering on your commitments to reinforce your brand’s authenticity.

Your Online Brand

Before applying for any role, take a moment to assess your current online presence. Do you have one? What does it look like? What story does it convey?

For me, LinkedIn was an easy choice to start building my brand given that I’ve been on the platform since the beginning of my corporate career. As a result, my profile wasn’t entirely blank when I began refining it. I suspect that’ll be the case for most of you. If you haven’t joined LinkedIn yet, you should strongly consider it. LinkedIn has over 1 billion users, alongside other impressive statistics on their website. Don’t be discouraged if you’re not on there yet: it's never too late to join and it’s super easy to get started.

Here’s a framework that I created for myself as I became more deliberate about building my brand:

Curate Your Profile

Your LinkedIn profile is your online business card. It’s what people see when they want to learn more about your professional achievements. To make your profile shine, consider the below components.

• Ensure that your Headline and About section reflect your brand as those are some of the most visible items.

  • Your Headline might include the following elements:

    • Your current role or expertise: “Founder of Brava | Empowering Women Through Public Speaking Coaching”

    • Your value proposition: “Equipping Women with the Confidence to Speak, Lead, and Inspire Change”

    • Industry specific keywords: “Founder | Public Speaking Coach | Project Manager”

  • Your About section can have the following elements:

    • a career summary that showcases your super powers and achievements

    • your passions and motivations

    • where you’re headed, where do you want to be in 1, 3, 5 years from now

    • a personal touch.

A great tip I once received when I was working on my About section: check some profiles of people that you admire. What do they write? Let it inspire you!

My About section has developed over time. It started out quite lengthy and recently I’ve actually made it significantly shorter. I’ve set myself a reminder to update my bio every 6 months — or whenever something big changes for me professionally.

• Add your superpowers as Skills to your profile.

• Request Recommendations from colleagues and clients. This will back the superpowers that you stated yourself, which is much stronger.

• Update your Experience and provide 1-2 lines of context below each role.

• Once you have posted some content (see below), make sure that you pin important and popular posts as Featured Posts. These will always show at the top of your profile.

Share Valuable Content & Activate your Current Network

This is a strategy I started implementing even when I was with my previous employer. Developing your voice on LinkedIn can open up a lot of opportunities. All of us have something valuable to offer to the world and you’re not different. This is all part of your brand. What are you really passionate about?

As you share your insights through Posts or Newsletters, your network will be activated and engaged. This may feel super awkward at first. Thoughts like: “What if no one likes my posts?” or “I don’t want to be cringe.” may go through your head. I know the feelings all too well and still have those thoughts daily.

Earlier this year, I attended a session titled ‘Pivoting Your Career & Reinventing Your Public Image’ by Tash Jamieson. My key takeaway: Just post the thing! It does not matter what people think - just do it!

The worst that can happen is that your post doesn’t get as much traction as you would have hoped. Keep in mind: the Linkedin algorithm initially will only show your post to limited people. So if you don’t get many reactions, not many people will know if your post has flopped.

Something that worked for me to get my posting habit started was to find a meaningful reason to get started and a topic that you can cover over multiple sessions. It could be anything, such as a big project that you will be involved with at work over the coming weeks or months. For me, the trigger was when I joined the Startmate Women Fellowship – which I discuss a little more below. Back then, I made a commitment to myself that I would post a wrap-up of each week on the program. Sometimes that meant that I was frantically bringing a post together on Sunday night. It was challenging, however this really got me past all those feelings of self-doubt. It has become one of my habits. Now, whenever I find something interesting, it’s easier to craft a short post and publish it.

Expand your Network

Of course you can grow your brand simply by posting and engaging with people through the platform over time. It is important though, that you physically put yourself out there as well. Investing in yourself by attending conferences or joining networks of like-minded people can be both very rewarding as well as increase your network with quality connections. In every networking opportunity you will craft at this stage, you should be adding those people to your LinkedIn connections.

In my case, I took the step to join the Autumn24 cohort of the Startmate Women Fellowship. I have to confess that at the time I thought it was a huge commitment of both time and money (especially when I quit my corporate job mid-way through the program). It was worth every single dollar, though. It convinced me to pivot from corporate to entrepreneurship and also gave me access to the enormous Startmate network. A network that keeps bringing me awesome connections and new friendships to date. The next cohort kicks off in March, keep an eye out for the applications to open if you’re interested and send me a message if you have any questions about the program.

Every career journey is unique, with countless ways to navigate it. I love sharing the lessons I’ve learned along the way. What strategies have worked for you?

If you’re on the job market right now, I hope these tips will help. Or perhaps you know someone who could benefit from it: send it their way!

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What’s next

In part two of my series, Winning in a Competitive Job Market, I’ll share the strategies I used to stand out during the application process.

“If you’re not going to call your friend yourself, you won’t have anyone to play with.”

In true Dutch-style, those were my mum’s words to encourage me to pick up the phone and ask my friend if they wanted to play.

I’ll take you along on my journey to becoming a confident speaker. We’ll go from a school play in Haarlem, the Netherlands to a 1,600 people event in Sydney, Australia. It hasn’t been a straight path and I’ve pivoted many times along the way.

Take every opportunity to practise

I was that shy kid who didn’t like making phone calls. For some reason that I cannot explain this was completely different when I got on stage. When I was five years old I played the narrator role in our school play. At the time, I was unable to study a script as I couldn’t read well enough yet. It turns out that I memorised the whole thing without telling my parents. Despite being shy, I loved getting on stage and sharing a story.

I guess we can call that the start of my public speaking journey. Not because I was a great speaker from day one, but because I discovered that it was something I enjoyed doing. I remember my first school presentations were not very impressive and I was very nervous. Despite the nerves, I kept finding opportunities to speak and command an audience - through high school debating clubs, a student job providing presentations across the Netherlands and guiding kids summer camps all around Europe.

Surround yourself with people you admire

When the time came to choose my studies, I chose Dutch Law in Maastricht mainly because it’s a broad study and it involves playing with words. My favourite part of the curriculum was moot court, where students simulate court proceedings including roles for both lawyers and judges.

In my first year, I joined the university’s moot court student association where I learned even more about how to carefully build an argument and how to convince the other parties of my position, even if that wasn’t my personal opinion. In this group I surrounded myself with more senior students who were far better speakers than I was, so I could learn from them. In my opinion this is the best way to push yourself to grow. When being around people who are all at the same level, it’s difficult to see what more is possible.

My bachelor of Law was followed by a masters degree in Corporate & Commercial Law in Nijmegen. Whilst I was good at law and I liked it enough, after graduating I realised that a career in law wasn’t for me. This insight only came to me after a 10-day silent meditation retreat that I did two weeks after my graduation. For anyone who isn’t familiar with Vipassana, it’s not for the faint of heart and it will definitely give you some time to reflect on your life choices in between the attempts to meditate for eight hours a day. It prompted me to pursue a different career.

Imposter syndrome

I pivoted and instead of joining a law firm, I joined the trainee program at the Dutch head office of a global Food & Agribusiness bank. From the first months I was involved in meetings with some of the most senior leaders of the bank. That’s where the real learning started: the shy kid was back again. How do you speak up in a room full of expensive suits? Do I have anything relevant to add in this meeting? Imposter syndrome was real. I was lucky to have amazing managers who supported me, gave me opportunities to grow and helped me see that confidence is a skill that can be learned. And as I built on my confidence, the expensive suits that once intimidated me, slowly turned into what they actually were – a plain and simple business attire. I realised over time that my input was more valuable the more I believed in it myself and that no fancy clothes could challenge the value of what I had to bring to the table.

Making mistakes

After two and a half years in the Netherlands, I got an offer from the bank to move to Sydney. I spent my first Australian Christmas on a cattle station in Northern Queensland. My colleague had been very kind to invite me to spend Christmas with her family. I had been quite confident in my English, until I got there. If you’re familiar with the Australian accent, you will know what I mean …. This Queensland accent was something different and all of a sudden I felt very conscious that English wasn’t my first language. A whole new learning of different Australian and Kiwi accents started whilst working with farmers across the Australia & New Zealand region. It took me some time to get the hang of it and I made many mistakes.

Most people were very understanding and helped me whenever I was unsure. However, there were occasions where people laughed at my pronunciation errors or where I received feedback that “despite your accent, you delivered a very coherent and clear presentation”. Even when you’re pretty fluent in a second or even third language, you will make mistakes and people may not always be forgiving. What helped me is realising that each of these moments were opportunities to grow and keep improving. The words or actions that people use to indicate your mistakes may not always align with your preferences. Not saying this is easy, but I continue to try and filter what I can learn from it.

The biggie

Through this role in Australia, I got the opportunity to present at many different occasions: presentations to groups of 20 clients, pitches to the executive team, webinars for 500 staff and a presentation for 300 young beef producers. I learned from each session, started filtering out those filler words, developed my speech writing skills and improved how to move on stage.

All these efforts were seen within the organisation, as one day I was asked to present and host a panel at our all-staff flagship event. Taking on opportunities to present makes you visible, there is no doubt about it. If it wasn’t for all those previous times where I raised my hand to present, this wouldn’t have come to me.

Was I nervous? Of course! Did I say yes? ABSOLUTELY!

Rabobank’s staff in Australia & New Zealand totals 1,600 people, I had never spoken at such a large event. The preparation was different than usual; this was not your ordinary “bring a powerpoint and go” presentation. I had to prepare a script for the teleprompter I’d be using, I got my make-up done on site and during the panel it was my responsibility to keep within the time and wrap up at the right moment without running out of questions. I spent evenings practicing, refining and getting completely comfortable with the text. I had never been so nervous for a presentation in my life. But I did it - and it was awesome!

And that’s how I went from this

to this

The preparation and hard work paid off; I received overwhelmingly positive feedback from the audience immediately after the event and in the weeks to come.

This presentation made me realise that I wanted to do more with public speaking. Standing there on stage and sharing a story gave such a kick. It became the catalyst to really start dedicating my efforts towards public speaking and made me realise that I want others to also say YES to a next speaking opportunity.

That was the inspiration to found Brava. Brava offers 1:1 women’s public speaking & mindset coaching, workshops and event MC’ing. Check out the website if you like!

The myth

The biggest take-away from my journey so far? It’s a myth that public speaking is a gift. In my view it's a skill that needs practice and dedication. It’s a matter of continuous improvement. Because there is always more to learn.

What’s next?

Next week I’ll dive into job applications and how to let your communication skills steal the show.

Speaking off-the-cuff; some people just seem to have a cohesive answer ready at any moment. Did you know that this is a skill that anyone can master? You don't have to be a seasoned all-round speaker, just a prepared speaker. If being prepared for the unexpected questions sounds contradictory, keep reading for 5 tips to improve your impromptu speaking.

Create a story bank

Whether it's during a job interview or participating in a panel discussion; you know that you'll get questions and you know that there's a chance you'll get asked that one question that you didn't prepare for. What you do know is the theme, the job description or any other briefing that you received. As part of your preparation you'll therefore create a story bank - examples of themes and key milestones that are important for what you'll be talking about. You'll then be able to use these examples to a variety of questions that could be asked; fitting the stories so that they answer the question.

Take a pause & learn to think on your feet

Silences tend to feel awkward. The natural response, especially when we are nervous, is to start filling the silence with words. So instead of rambling it is important to take a moment to let your brain do its magic. In those crucial seconds the silence will allow ideas to flow and many things may come to mind. Hopefully your brain will access the story bank that you created and it will think of a fitting example. If that happens, great! Don't think any further, this is the example you're going with. Too many ideas will cause you to digress and your answer will lose impact. The first idea is always best, go with it!

Find an interesting opening

In those split seconds that your brain is working at full speed, you just thought of the best example you can come up with. Now, it's time to start answering the question. Ideally, you want to grasp the attention of your audience immediately. You can do this by coming up with an interesting opening. Instead of repeating the question, which will eat into your limited answering time, you can think of the following:

• Start with a one-liner or quote

• Tell an anecdote that is linked to the topic

• State the answer immediately - play with using just one word - then explain further

Build a cohesive answer

After your opening you begin to build your answer. In those magical seconds of silence you thought of your story, your example and from there let your brain flow to reasons why you chose that statement or anecdotes that will create a compelling story. If you started with a viewpoint, don't be afraid to then say: "And I have three reasons why..." even though you only thought of one. Trust that your brain will continue working whilst you speak. It's bold and it may feel very uncomfortable at first, however I encourage you to try this strategy. You'll be surprised how often this works.

Bring it home

Ending on a high is very important. It's the last bit that people will remember from your answer so don't let your strong start fizzle out with repetition or an ending such as "That was it I guess". You hooked everyone in with your opening, you stated the reasons why you have this viewpoint or you supported your story with an anecdote, now you end with a strong conclusion and potentially a call to action. Then you stop talking. Again you embrace the silence for a few seconds to let your answer sink in, people need time to process what has been said.

What if my mind is blank?

It happens to all of us, sometimes it feels as if your mind is not functioning at all, nothing pops into your head. Don't panic, be prepared whenever this happens to take the following steps:

• Ask the interviewer to repeat the question, this will buy you time

• Use this extra time to think and hopefully a little idea will come to you

• Don't keep searching in the hope for something better; start with an opening and build from there

• If all else fails, talk about something else. Do what politicians do: "I can't comment on this statement, what I can say is...".